Serenity in Times of Uncertainty

Are you feeling anxious, even a bit panicky about the financial state of the world. See an excellent article here on the Sedona Method website to feel much better straight away. Here's a short extract:

Remember, anxiety, panic, stress and worry do nothing to support you in making the right decisions. Instead, the more you can make decisions from a place of inner calmness and mental clarity the more likely your decisions will be supportive of your overall financial goals and well-being and the safety and well-being of those around you and the planet as a whole.

The very best thing to do when you find yourself panicking is to allow yourself to welcome whatever you're feeling about the current world situation and about your current financial situation. Also allow yourself to welcome any wanting to change or control how you feel. As you do this you will find that the stress and tension of the moment will dissolve into a calm pool of certainty and inner strength.

“I released truckloads of fear and wanting survival because of the possible meltdown of the world’s financial system.”
Norm Hall

Welcoming the feelings may seem counterintuitive, but it’s a necessary step in the process of letting go. As you’ll learn when you delve deeper into letting go with The Sedona Method, the more you resist a feeling, the stronger its hold on you becomes. When you welcome a feeling, however, the resistance fades away while your ability to let the feeling go gets stronger. Simply welcoming a feeling fully can often allow it to dissolve completely.

“The company I work for has announced plans for a layoff that we expect next week. No one really knows where the cuts will be and all are worried. I have never been good at being cut, so I used the method to release on the fear and anxiety that I am experiencing and I got a whole lot more than I thought I would.

First, I released victim mentality, also, it's a job, it's not me. In the past I felt I was the job. The Sedona Method has changed the outcome and outlook of my entire life. I feel so validated and free. I know that I am, and nothing can take that away without me willing it so.”
Mike Gallemore

After welcoming the feeling, ask yourself in this moment if you could simply let go. By allowing yourself to welcome what you feel and then letting it go, you will immediately feel relief. This will also bring you more access to your intuitive knowing-ness and the clarity of clear reason required for you to weather the storm.

“I came to The Sedona Method to find tools for living my life with greater freedom, ease and joy. My realization is that the freedom, ease and joy are already present. I only needed to remove the thoughts, feelings and emotions that were covering them up all this time.”
Paul Hathaway

A releaser's experience received today!

"Releasing does work Alice – and I have to say that I have just spent the most peaceful school holidays in such a long while – the benefits of the Sedona Method are so subtle but definite and what I am finding is that the talk within is much more accepting, positive and gentle to my soul and general disposition."

Inspiring Conference Talk Achieved through Releasing

My last blog post was about releasing my fear and being inspired to write a story. That story became the opening element of my talk at the Early Childhood Australia conference – and exactly hit the spot with the audience! It illustrated my presentation perfectly. Interestingly, I went through intense doubts about the story along the way. Some of the people I tried the story out with didn’t get it. I got a very unsure about whether the story was any good. I kept releasing and found an underlying faith that it would work. Then, once I was in the room with the audience of seventy child caregivers, the story came to life. I could feel their deep interest, and when I got to the punch line, many actually gasped!

After that day when the story 'arrived', a stream of daily inspirations ‘landed’ in the mornings just after waking. Each day I would wake with some fear and dread present, another layer of my limiting beliefs about the forthcoming conference presentation having surfaced. Each morning I welcomed the arising of those fears and let them go. After releasing the emotion, a "downloading" of inspirations would generally follow, addressing the very area I had been stressed about. Then I would find myself getting up and energetically springing into the day. Every time the idea would work out.

This was such a magical process - except that it felt very normal! It felt how life is meant to work. The truth is, the answers we need are simply there, as long as I let go of the emotions that block them. I found myself genuinely welcoming the uncomfortable emotions that were triggered, by fearful thoughts that I didn't know how to do something.

I have found the key is to truly see the uncomfortable emotions that are triggered as a good sign! It gets easier and easier to do this as each release of emotion leads to a next step that works out. You can’t pretend! It’s no use simulating welcoming the emotion – the subconscious sees through all pretense. When you actually welcome the emotion, the release follows and the inner wisdom becomes available.

By releasing and then listening to these early morning inspirations, I easily asked for help from many people with just the skills I needed and they all said yes with such generosity. In fact in some cases they offered their help spontaneously.

The success of the story, the way the message of the whole talk resonated, the people I attracted, have given me even more trust in the inspirations that I received when I released my limiting emotions.

From having been the ultimate lone ranger, wanting to work in a team but not knowing how to achieve it, I found myself with a wonderful team of people supporting this venture, all contributing their high level skills with graciousness and enthusiasm. It was extraordinary how it all just flowed!

This is just a brief overview of the power of releasing throughout this conference adventure. I could write much more. (Read a fuller account here)

My purpose in telling you about this experience is to encourage you to release everything! Take in that you can welcome any emotion; that most uncomfortable feelings come from suppressed emotions from the past, triggered by current stimuli; that when we welcome feelings and release them, our true, wise inner nature is revealed and we receive inspiration and inner guidance.

Releasing our emotions, letting go of trying to control them, is the key to a wonderful flowing way of living.

Releasing Fear and Enabling Effective Action

Many exciting opportunities and directions are developing with my work at the moment. Along with all the great things happening come some extremely intense reactions to DOING some of the actual steps I need to take to get all this happening. A lot of resistance and fear comes up. I keep letting it go and have taken some significant steps.

I have a major event scheduled for early October (read about it here). I was getting really terrified about being ready for the conference, so I did this exercise about fear.

Shortcut for Letting go of Fear Exercise
Ask yourself, when you feel afraid :

What is it I don't want to have happen?
Write down your first thought.
Welcome the feelings, the sensations in the body, the pictures and sounds (and thoughts are just sounds and pictures) that come up with that response.
Now ask: Could I let go of wanting that to happen?

This oddball question tends to bring about a release easily! Just keep doing it over and over until you feel as much relief from the fear as you would like.

This exercise comes from the understanding that whenever we're afraid we are focusing on what we don't want to have happen, and one part of us wants that to happen! When we let go fo that irrational 'want', we are freer and able to act.

Outstanding Results from The Letting Go of Fear Release
I did this exercise for a while this morning when I woke feeling really full of dread about the conference presentation. I listed in my mind the things I don't want to have happen, one by one and let them go, as described above.

One of these was that I don't want to find myself not well prepared and just winging it - doing an OK job but not the way I envisioned it, and losing the opportunity to make an impact and get these ideas really out there. I thought about how I want the talk to have powerful stories and images - and I get scared that I can't do that. What I didn't want to have happen is that I don't have well prepared and engaging stories. I let that fear go, let go of 'wanting that to happen'. Immediately, I remembered the class I am going to tonight which is an "Acting Class" (with skills for presentations in mind) at which we were to present a piece that we had practiced - using a special imaging and memory process to make it very engaging and memorable. I recalled that it was to prepare this presentation that I joined the class! I remembered that I intended to write my own story and present that.

A story came back to me and so I got up at 5.30 and and wrote it with ease and will present it tonight! I'm very pleased and intend to get up early to write every morning this week so I get all the pieces I need for my first practice talk next Monday properly prepared. It's feeling much more doable now. Because I released the fear I was able to take the action I needed to take. My whole week started so well as a result of that early morning releasing practice.

A New "Releaser" Reports Strong Gains!

Share from a participant in a recent Release Your Limiting Feelings and Find Happiness workshop:

“The releasing results have been phenomenal! I ‘got it’ that day of the workshop and it’s been really good for me. So many things that were stuck have moved on easily. I’ve found a house to move to, and even feel excited about doing it up. I’ve found a new school for my daughters at last. I’ve been releasing my reactions to my ex-husband before I speak and things are so much better between us.

I’ve found releasing a lot easier process to do than any other, and I’ve done lots of processes. I like that it feels so free of everything, and can be used everywhere. It’s really easy for me. It’s made such a difference that first I acknowledge my feelings and then I can release them. The shift is that this process honours my feelings where before I used to try to push them away and distract myself from them. By honouring them first I find it so easy to release them and everything has started to flow.”

I don't want to release my anger!

The Question
"My daughter at 24 has a chronic 'mental illness' with a severe eating disorder... in and out of hospital every couple of months with no desire to get well. I have tried to help her and have made agreements with her that she has broken. . Her behaviour has been manipulative, lying, cheating, secretive, and very hurtful.
I find myself rageful that I have allowed myself to become totally exhausted mentally & physically with financial difficulties, turning myself inside out, trying to help her, thinking my efforts could change the situation, but, she doesn’t want to help herself. She is addicted.
I even I lost my job and looked after her 24/7 for 6 weeks while waiting for a supported care place to become available. I could not leave her for even 1/2 hr.
I have been doing the welcoming of the anger, exploring what comes up, and find I don't want to release it, I am still so incredibly angry and I don't want to be in touch with her at all. I know the anger is damaging. I need some advice please.”

Alice's Response
It's very understandable that you are resistant to releasing the anger. This is a difficult situation which would press anyone's buttons.

It’s important to remember that the fiercely angry feelings you are experiencing come from programs from your own past, from the traumas of your own childhood, they are not actually caused by the situation that triggers them. The good thing is that when the feelings are triggered that’s your chance to release those past programs.

Remember also that what you are doing is releasing the power of the anger to control you, and your wanting to control the anger. This is how you become free of the power these old programs have over you. You can just let the anger be, allow it, welcome it, and it will simply pass through. Allowing yourself to have the anger, allowing the anger pass through, is different from 'being angry'. In other words you let go of identifying with the anger as who you are.

Anger is damaging, as you said, however trying to stop it or control it and make it go away or judging ourselves for having it are also damaging. All efforts to change our feelings are limiting to us. By allowing our feelings we are not giving them more power but actually less.

You could welcome all the layers of feelings that are arising. In your ragefulness about having let yourself become so affected by this, can you hear that there is judgment of yourself? You could welcome that judgment too. Just welcome each layer of feeling as it arises. Everything that is arising can be welcomed and you could let it go.

Is there also some fear that is lurking under the anger? Often we fear letting anger go because we believe that we will become powerless without it. Anger is a very limited way to have power. When we allow our anger and fear and all the other lower order emotions to arise and subside, we gain access to our higher energies and when we act from those we serve ourselves, others and the situation much better.

Don’t look for instant results. Consider each time that you release that you are making an uplifting choice that is much more beneficial than getting caught in the usual turmoil of churning thoughts and feelings. It’s worth persisting. This is also the most loving thing that you can do for your daughter. It is not necessary that you force yourself to be in touch with her. Allow your feelings to run their course and dissipate themselves, by welcoming and releasing. The energy to contact her will arise at the right time. You could hold the intention to do whatever best serves the situation and trust yourself to do that, while keeping your focus on releasing the feelings as your current action.

Releasing your heavy emotions around this situation will serve you and your daughter and your relationship. There is no danger in it. Releasing is never dangerous, although because we are so used to suppressing and holding on, it feels as though it might be.

Remember the dropping of the pen. You really can drop any emotion like that. Feel that sense of dropping it inside and keep doing it over and over. Sometimes the results are immediate and sometimes they are felt hours later or the next day.

What are the origins of “misbehaviour”?
Also you might explore the idea that all misbehaviour has its origins in the person's past and how their brain has been affected. It is about them not about you. Perhaps because it is so hard for you to understand how your much loved child could have sufficient reasons to behave in these awful ways, you can't accept or forgive her behaviour.

When you behave "badly", can you sense that there is a reason underneath, even if you don't know what it is? Do you sense that there is an explanation in your past experience? Even with our own children, we don't know all of their experience, we don't even know that she wasn't born with some brain lesion.

My studies in this area have led me to see all human misbehaviour as the result of neurological programs reflecting our past - and that could include physical differences in the brain that we not aware of, as well as emotional experience, and past lives even. Certainly the evidence is that people's behaviour is rooted in their past.

This is not to say that you should forgive her or should do anything different. None of this is about shoulds. Just that it might be easier to respond to the situation in the most helpful way all round, if you can see it with understanding and the sense that no-one is to blame. The less we feel angry and blaming the stronger we can be in setting up appropriate boundaries. However we become less angry and blaming by allowing our feelings and letting them release, not by denying or suppressing them.

Not blaming also does not mean exposing ourselves to attack or danger. We don't blame a fierce animal but we do make sure we are not in danger of attack. Your ability to make detached decisions about what to do will be greatly strengthened by releasing. Your decisions will also be more heart centred. It's paradoxical perhaps, but that is definitely what happens. So there's no downside to it. There really is only gain from releasing.

I hope this helps you to release.

warm regards, Alice

Welcome Your "Button Pushers" to Clear Out "Rubbish"!

Josie wrote this to me recently and I have replied here to share with all of you.

"I still allow myself to get terribly hurt by some people’s bitchiness. I really wish I didn’t. I’d like to think I’m stronger than that. So something happened yesterday at work; I tried releasing – but, gee, it’s really challenging when a situation still has so much heat in it.

So I wait a bit for the heat to cool – then I find the feeling of release can come."

It's great Josie that you see that you are allowing yourself to get hurt - in other words, you know that you have the power to let go of allowing that, when you are ready.

Here are a few ways that you could approach this:

Firstly, you could ask yourself if you are wanting your feeling of hurt to be different, if you want to change it. The answer will be yes, because you said you wished you didn't feel that way! Then ask yourself: Could I let go of wanting to change it? Would I? When? Repeat this and let go, as best you can, just for now, each time. Just keep welcoming and letting go and release will happen.

Another way, in the moment that the wave of painful hurt feeling comes up, is to simply ask yourself: Could I welcome this feeling? Just open to it in that moment as best you can. You can simply allow the feeling to be there.

It's strange, but the more you welcome feelings the less easy it is to label them as 'good ' or 'bad' feelings. Actually all feelings are just a sign that you are alive! They're just emotional 'weather', not who you are, not the 'truth'.

Sometimes when I welcome a feeling that is bothering me I get a flash of feeling fine about the feeling being there. In that moment I almost relish the 'painful' feeling! It's like I'm able to appreciate the feeling for what it is. I just love that! It's quite wild! Best of all the sense of fighting the feeling goes, and I feel so free.

Remember also that you don't have to force releasing - in fact it doesn't work to do so. Trying to release is another form of wanting to change it. Welcoming or allowing the feeling is the first step to releasing. So welcome first, then ASK of you could release it and answer truthfully, yes or no. Both are valid answers. If you go through that process, you have released that layer of feeling. The next layer of feeling may then arise. It may feel similar, but it is new layer. Next you welcome that feeling and ask if you could release it.

The key understanding is that you are not trying to get rid of feelings but allowing them to FLOW.

Freely flowing feelings release themselves, that's their nature.

A further valuable approach to this kind of situation is to sit down calmly at home and do some written releasing about your relationship with that person. You could use the Likes/Dislikes process, the Cleanup Procedure or other processes from the Relationship Magic chapter in the book The Sedona Method. When someone 'pushes your buttons" it is such an opportunity to free yourself of the pocket of reaction that they have brought to the surface for you.

Be grateful and seize the opportunity to let go of the 'inner rubbish' your 'button pushers" have so obligingly surfaced for you!

warm regards, Alice

Welcoming "Uncomfortableness" and Becoming Free

What I love about this work of coaching is the big shifts people make so naturally and easily, as they release the reactions that have held them back. It still astounds me that looking inside and releasing our reactions to things can have such a profound effect on our lives. But I no longer doubt that it does!

A client who was very stuck and fed up in her job her relationship and vision of the future is, a few months and sessions later, in a new job where she feels valued and energized, has renewed her relationship and is bouncing along happily in her life. This is what i wrote to her as she completed the coaching contract she had with me:

"Do go back and review your goals at the start, look at "then and now", see your gains and say WOW!

Remember that you can allow yourself to get stuck again, and you will get stuck again, if you just let the knee jerk reactions rule. You have cleared some of them away forever. That means there's a golden opportunity to welcome the next reactions that are triggered and let them go.

That's the key, notice the reactions that are coming up, WELCOME them; take your attention off the nasty person or thing that has brought this uncomfortableness into your life, thank that stimulus, whatever it is, for giving you the opportunity to release. Own the reaction as yours, not theirs, without blame. You aren't at fault for having it. It just is, and when it arises into consciousness, that's the gift, because NOW you're conscious of it, you can let it go and be free."

Taking the Opportunity and Successfully Releasing a "Bad Day at Work"

Here's an extract from an email sent to me by a client this week:

"I had a bad day at work yesterday, a case of lights being pretty dim!! There were numerous events which took place, hopefully most my boss doesn’t know about!

I decided it was a good opportunity for some releasing, so last night as I went to bed, I practiced some releasing over the days events. I could not put words to the feelings; however, because the feelings were "fresh" I didn't really have to at that stage (and when I now think about it, children are able to release but not put feelings into "words").

I felt it worked, today's a new day! If I hadn't done some releasing last night, I don't know if my reaction today would have been quite the same! I would have beaten myself up over it a bit more."

I wrote back as follows:

Congratulations on seeing the opportunity and doing some releasing after a "bad day". Wow, it takes courage and commitment to do that when your feelings have been giving you a hard time all day and the mistakes made on such a day usually trigger lots more reactions too!

These challenging times are the best opportunities to grow, and you saw that and took up the challenge. It's only when our "worst" feelings come to the surface that we can let them go. So it's fantastic that you did it - and that you "felt it work".

Releasing always does "work" at some level of course, but feeling it immediately is so nice isn't it. By the way, I think you would have beaten yourself up over it a lot more if you hadn't released don't you!

Next step - see if you can remember to release during the "bad day".

Happy releasing!

Alice

Another thing, I loved your insight about children not needing to name the feeling to release it! That's wonderful, so true and it never occurred to me! I'll spread the word about that one.