Welcome Your "Button Pushers" to Clear Out "Rubbish"!

Josie wrote this to me recently and I have replied here to share with all of you.

"I still allow myself to get terribly hurt by some people’s bitchiness. I really wish I didn’t. I’d like to think I’m stronger than that. So something happened yesterday at work; I tried releasing – but, gee, it’s really challenging when a situation still has so much heat in it.

So I wait a bit for the heat to cool – then I find the feeling of release can come."

It's great Josie that you see that you are allowing yourself to get hurt - in other words, you know that you have the power to let go of allowing that, when you are ready.

Here are a few ways that you could approach this:

Firstly, you could ask yourself if you are wanting your feeling of hurt to be different, if you want to change it. The answer will be yes, because you said you wished you didn't feel that way! Then ask yourself: Could I let go of wanting to change it? Would I? When? Repeat this and let go, as best you can, just for now, each time. Just keep welcoming and letting go and release will happen.

Another way, in the moment that the wave of painful hurt feeling comes up, is to simply ask yourself: Could I welcome this feeling? Just open to it in that moment as best you can. You can simply allow the feeling to be there.

It's strange, but the more you welcome feelings the less easy it is to label them as 'good ' or 'bad' feelings. Actually all feelings are just a sign that you are alive! They're just emotional 'weather', not who you are, not the 'truth'.

Sometimes when I welcome a feeling that is bothering me I get a flash of feeling fine about the feeling being there. In that moment I almost relish the 'painful' feeling! It's like I'm able to appreciate the feeling for what it is. I just love that! It's quite wild! Best of all the sense of fighting the feeling goes, and I feel so free.

Remember also that you don't have to force releasing - in fact it doesn't work to do so. Trying to release is another form of wanting to change it. Welcoming or allowing the feeling is the first step to releasing. So welcome first, then ASK of you could release it and answer truthfully, yes or no. Both are valid answers. If you go through that process, you have released that layer of feeling. The next layer of feeling may then arise. It may feel similar, but it is new layer. Next you welcome that feeling and ask if you could release it.

The key understanding is that you are not trying to get rid of feelings but allowing them to FLOW.

Freely flowing feelings release themselves, that's their nature.

A further valuable approach to this kind of situation is to sit down calmly at home and do some written releasing about your relationship with that person. You could use the Likes/Dislikes process, the Cleanup Procedure or other processes from the Relationship Magic chapter in the book The Sedona Method. When someone 'pushes your buttons" it is such an opportunity to free yourself of the pocket of reaction that they have brought to the surface for you.

Be grateful and seize the opportunity to let go of the 'inner rubbish' your 'button pushers" have so obligingly surfaced for you!

warm regards, Alice

Welcoming "Uncomfortableness" and Becoming Free

What I love about this work of coaching is the big shifts people make so naturally and easily, as they release the reactions that have held them back. It still astounds me that looking inside and releasing our reactions to things can have such a profound effect on our lives. But I no longer doubt that it does!

A client who was very stuck and fed up in her job her relationship and vision of the future is, a few months and sessions later, in a new job where she feels valued and energized, has renewed her relationship and is bouncing along happily in her life. This is what i wrote to her as she completed the coaching contract she had with me:

"Do go back and review your goals at the start, look at "then and now", see your gains and say WOW!

Remember that you can allow yourself to get stuck again, and you will get stuck again, if you just let the knee jerk reactions rule. You have cleared some of them away forever. That means there's a golden opportunity to welcome the next reactions that are triggered and let them go.

That's the key, notice the reactions that are coming up, WELCOME them; take your attention off the nasty person or thing that has brought this uncomfortableness into your life, thank that stimulus, whatever it is, for giving you the opportunity to release. Own the reaction as yours, not theirs, without blame. You aren't at fault for having it. It just is, and when it arises into consciousness, that's the gift, because NOW you're conscious of it, you can let it go and be free."